Rio Grande Polska polka

Pastore, is causing big troublio for Rio Grande since the move to Poland, every day he turns up at training with a new leggy blonde, he seems very happy but as soon as he starts training he is bloody exhaustatio, It is upsetting Aromga greatly. He came up to me the other day and said bossio i cannot take this much longer, i am sharing a room with javier and every night he a comin in at all hours and then spends the night whoring, i have tried to put on my whale song relaxation tape, but even when i turn up the volume to fall, he is a drowning out my sperm whale song with his a banging moaning and groaning. The move to Poland has caused me a number of problems with my squad, Milanetto punched a waiter in the square the other night when he ordered ravioli and was presented with a plate of  peroigi. The waiter insisted it was ravioli, Milanetto tipped the peroigi over his head and told the waiter he was insulting not only his beloved Italy but also his mamma and his Nonna. Piotr took offence to this and shoved milanetto who then smashed a plastic san pellegrino bottle over Piotr's head. Suffice to say we are now barred from Wroclaws best Italian restaurant. Gargano is spending most of his time immersed in the many catholic churces of the city, this was no problem initially as it meant he was one of the few players, i did not have to worry about, well so i thought. Until he arrived at the training ground this morning to tell me he was leaving to join a Monastery high in the Carpathian mountains. So i have one of my midfield fulcrum in the local Prison for public disorder offences, another one exhausted from daily marathon sex sessions and another one dressed entirely in brown robes on his way by foot to some tiny monastery somewhere in the mountains. So 3 midfielders down and i sent gilberto out to get risotto rice a week ago and we still havent seen or heard from him.