A Writers blockage

So, when is the best time to write, some might say those first few silent hours of a day before the rest of the world awakes, Just you the dawn chorus of the birds, the sunrise and a blank page, could anyone ask for more inspiration?
well those first moments of daybreak are not for me, Morning for me is more of a case of ambush rather than an awakening. In fact it would be safe to say that on finding myself thrust into a new day the last thing on my mind is writing. Firstly there is the first ten minutes in bed, going through a list of my potential ailments I expect to endure that day, a vital procedure as any self respecting hypocondriac will tell you. Finally having decided that I am probably fit enough to get out of bed, i head for my morning meditation on my porcelain throne, then coffee, now i cant have coffee at home because that would suggest that whilst taking my morning coffee at home, I should really be doing something productive, God forbid writing even!
So I grab my jacket and head to the coffee shop to the safety of the T2 crossword and ( if you have read my earlier posts) some pointless list making.
Having successfully wasted two hours now, It is probably coming up to lunchtime, so there is no point trying to start writing now as there would not be nearly enough time to really get stuck in before I would have to stop and eat something. The most sensible thing now would be to make a sandwich and watch a programme about celebrity electricians cooking pancakes in Malaga.
Gosh is it Three a clock already, i better have a cup of tea before I start writing and check my emails, hmm an email suggesting i come and play online monopoly, a few minutes wouldn't hurt would it?
It is now half past Four, The Gulag will be home from work in half an hour and i haven't done the shopping for dinner. Meet The Gulag, have another coffee, cook dinner and It's now Nine pm and the Apprentice is on and there is no way i am going to miss that.
You see there just isn't time in my day to fit any writing in.
Finally its late into the night, nothing left to do the perfect time to write, I plump the cushion, get my notebook out place it carefully down on the coffee table, stretch my hands, sit down, lean forward push a button, game of Pro evo anyone?